Chapter 13 - Holding On

~ I wonder if I will ever have the strength to hold onto something or if I will always be someone who destroys. - Ally Condie, Matched ~

The light of the lamp post glinted off of their faces as Arnav ran crouched, the sharp branches of passing bushes scraping against his skin. With his left hand he pulled Khushi with him, her hand tightly grasped in his. Leaves bustled against their feet as their shadows danced against the wall, large and almost threatening. He felt the tremble of her hand and then heard her gasp as he halted abruptly, her delicate body colliding off of his, her breath against his skin only for a single second as he turned around to look into large frightened eyes, desperation glinting off of them and on scrutinising closely, a deep trust that he may end up breaking within a few hours. He breathed in heavily and squeezing her hand looked at her reassuringly then turned around, bringing her closer to him once more then increased his pace.

***

Garima sat leaning against Khushi's closed bedroom door, knowing that they would be at it any minute now. Her eyes were bloodshot but she could still make out the shapes through the haze of her tears. Khushi would be safe, she knew that much, her faith in Arnav, the faith that she had always had in him not wavering for a second. Life was not always predictable and if she had had her way things could have gone differently but she was now at a turning point and she would take the right road. She continued to stare out of the window, her heart pounding away in her chest. 

***

Arnav sprinted the last few steps, then pulling Khushi with him leaned against the back of his SUV, the usually dim lights now too bright for the situation at hand. Khushi clung onto his shirt, her face hidden in his chest, his arms tight around her waist, pressing her body against his. Khushi closed her eyes, feeling their frenzied hearts beat in panicked unison, his ragged breaths cutting through the silence offering an unusual solace. She felt him shuffle, carrying her with him, the actions registering in her mind seconds later, as if she was feeling everything through a distant dream. "Khushi," his breath was against her ear, the warmth seeping through her body that she suddenly realised had gone cold. "Khushi!" His whisper was harsher this time, she slowly opened her eyes, her eyes widening as she looked into conflicted orbs of molten brown. "Khushi are you okay?" His husky voice finally broke her away from the distance, she let out a gasp, realising that she had held her breath for a few seconds. She pushed herself away from him slightly as she felt a new rush of blood surge through her body. "Khushi when I say go I want you to run to the passenger side and get in, do you get that?" His gaze didn't waver for a second and she nodded in reply as his arms loosened around her waist.

---

Khushi watched in silence, her senses now running on overdrive, her mind numb and every worse possible scenario playing through it. Her mother, she left her mother to fight off a danger she was herself being taken away from. So how bad could the danger be? What was she even dealing with? Whose doing was this? What the hell was even going on? She watched, unable to yet phrase her question, her throat parched and dry, a hundred questions rattling through her mind as the car whizzed through an open dark road, the lamp posts and anything alighted and visible passing by in a tangled, glinting blur. He drove on in a dangerous sort of silence, the muscles on his face taunt, his normally molten eyes now dark and foreboding, the knuckles of his hands pronounced. Khushi didn't remember the last time she had seen him so angry, actually the more she looked at him the more she couldn't quite put a name to what his expression was. Was it fear? Since getting in the car he hadn't looked at her even once, the growing silence was almost suffocating, her breathing now a bit too loud. And then there was the distant jarring sensation that all that she had said that afternoon was quickly going to waste, the feeling that he was only here to take her away from some sort of crazy, incomprehensible situation and not to confess his love for her slowly dawning on her.  Was she being selfish? Why were sudden thoughts of her own crumbling life flashing through her mind in this moment of disaster? Why was she so lost? Why was her life falling apart in front of her eyes? She leaned back against the seat rest, closing her eyes shut, letting all thoughts leave her and let out a large sigh, a slow throbbing now replacing the numbness of her mind, slowly crawling up to the surface making her head whir in pain when she suddenly felt his warm large hand engulf hers then squeeze lightly and even though a slow calm began to wash over her she kept her eyes closed, too exhausted.

"I know everything's happening too fast," his voice hoarse and quieter cut through the thick silence and opening her eyes she looked to his face that continued to look straight ahead, the quietness and calm of his voice not reaching his dark, frightening eyes, giving him an almost mechanical look. "But I don't have time to explain, I... I just..." He turned to look at her then, the hardened contours of his face relaxing slightly as she refused to respond. And he was taken back as their gazes clashed and he stared into orbs of melting hazel, her eyebrows knotted in frustration, her lower lip quivering ever so slightly, the sight of her fragile form relentlessly fighting against her strong sense of mind something he clearly understood. He looked away then, feeling that he could not continue what he had begun to say whilst looking into her conflicted yet trusting eyes. "I just need to get you away from here and then I'll tell you everything," he continued, feeling her gaze still on his face.

She nodded in silence, then looked away, out towards the blurry scenery, shadows of leaves and trees and here and there bright lights off of lamp posts all distorting into one fathomless picture. She sighed heavily again, her breath misting against the glass and watched it slowly fade away, awakening her voice, "but where are we going?" She finally managed to croak out.

"I'm taking you to Aberdeen," he stated blankly and her eyes widened instantly as she turned around to look at him but he continued to stare straight on. She continued to stare at him, completely bewildered.

"But... Why?" She managed to stutter out, removing his hand from hers.

He looked around at her for a brief second, then looked away again, irritation flashing through his eyes. "Didn't I tell you I'll tell you later," he exclaimed suddenly and as raw anger bubbled up inside her she felt the car finally slow down, new brighter lights now sprinkling through the windscreen.

****

Garima lay on the floor, blood trickling out of her forehead, unable to move but still conscious, loud voices fading in and out of her mind.

Shyam stepped out of the large house, his gang quickly gathering behind him. He saw the flashes of red and blue just in time and signaled for his men to get in to the vehicles.

Getting into his own, he fired the engine to life as he dialed a number and put the phone to his ear with his free hand.

"Ma'am she's not here," already steeling himself to face the enraged voice of Arundathi Raizada.

"What do you mean she's not HERE?!" She screamed, spittle flying out of her mouth, her eyes red and venomous. "Where the hell is she?!"

"I don't know ma'am seems like somebody already knew we were coming," he replied slightly irritated at having taken up the job in the first place.

"WHAT!?" She screamed, shaking with anger. She took the glass on her table and threw it at the wall, watching the brown liquid inside it splash against the wall then smash, the pieces falling to the floor almost in slow motion. "Well she can't have gone far! Find her!" She exclaimed, knowing that she had not yet lost.

"I don't know it looks like we've lost her she's been gone a while."

"Where could she have gone?!" She demanded convulsing with anger.

"Aberdeen!" A confident voice suddenly replied from behind her, she turned around instantly to face Aakash, a knowing smirk on his face, "she's gone to the airport!"

Her face lit up immediately, "Shyam! She's gone to the airport! I want her dead! You hear me? Just finish her off!" She exclaimed finally, an evil gleam reaching her eyes as she sneered, not yet letting her victorious cackle loose.

****

"Sir, Shyam Jha and his gang are on their way to the airport. It looks like they knew where you were headed."

Arnav came to an instant halt, his muscles flexed, his jaw clenched as he listened to Aman's voice.

Khushi walked muttering to herself, too many steps behind Arnav. She had just received an extremely short call from her father, his brisk words still replayed on her mind.

"Bitiya we are fine. I will explain everything later, please trust Arnav for now and let him take you to Aberdeen." He had then ended the call, not even bothering to let her reply.

"I will explain everything later, explain everything later?! Urgh! What the hell? Why can't these people just tell me what is going on!" She fumed, muttering to herself. "He didn't even let me take my bag!" She continued to mumble to herself not bothering to look at where she was going, or rather being led when she walked straight into a wall of muscle. Colliding against him she looked up glaring as he turned around, her irritation mirrored in his face. "What the hell Arnav!" She screamed. He rolled his eyes back, the irritation quickly fading and grabbed her hand.

"Come one hurry up!" He ordered then began marching forward, pulling her with him.

"What! Stop walking so fast! I feel like I have to run to keep pace!" She screeched, almost stumbling over her own feet.

"Well then run!" He stated, without looking at her and kept walking, his phone looking like it was permanently stuck to his ear.

"It's okay Aman, we've passed through check-in. So they won't be able to get through. Just make sure someone's at the airport to stop them in case they decide to do anything stupid." Arnav continued to speak into his phone whilst pulling a fumbling Khushi with him.

"Yes sir, got it. I've got everything prepared in Aberdeen and the your jet is ready."

"That's great Aman. Thanks. I'll let you know of anything else if I need. For now just handle the situation here."

"Yes sir that's fine. What do I do with Arundathi?"

"I want her out of the picture for a few weeks. So that she can't try anything else," his eyes hardened further as he spoke now. And Khushi edged closer, her brows furrowing as she deliberated over this new peice of information. Who was he talking about?

"So what you said earlier?"

"Yes Aman," he sighed, exhausted, "exactly that."

"Are you sure?"

"Aman! I'm sure! Now shut up and get it done!" He snapped, annoyed, "and I'll speak to you again once I get off in Aberdeen," and with that he switched off his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket.

****

Shyam stood in the middle of the entry point to the airport, moving his hair off of his forehead as he glared into the distance, outraged. He took out his phone, dialing the number once more.

"They've already checked in, they're going to Aberdeen."

"WHAT!? Arundathi bellowed making Shyam flinch and move his phone away from his face. "Well what are you doing?! Book the flight and follow them!" She yelled, already thinking through the next step.

"But Ma'am they are taking a private jet," he stated blankly, unable to take the psychotic woman's demands anymore.

"Well then take the next normal flight you fool! I know where Khushi stays in Aberdeen!" She commanded. She'd be damned if they thought it was over yet!

****

Khushi waited in patient silence till the flight had taken off then steadied, her eyes studying Arnav's thoughtful face all the while. How he had lead her on without a word, sat himself down then leaning back in his seat closed his eyes and shut her out. She watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched, worry lines etched into his forehead. She couldn't help but feel bad for him even through her irritation. A private jet, her mother screaming, her father's phone call, Aakash's random phone call then abrupt show of anger, then the talk of getting someone out of the way, a woman. She was attempting to add everything up in her head but still could not comprehend it . But all of those things would have to add up, somehow, it all had to be connected.

Placing her palms on her chair, she sighed heavily, his almost frozen state annoying her beyond measure, pushing herself off of the seat she stood up then slowly paced up to him. Having felt her approaching he slowly opened his eyes then turned his head round, a blank look to his face, the softness in his eyes still absent. She looked at him pointedly and folding her arms at her chest, raised an eyebrow.

"Arnav Singh Raizada, it's time for my explanation," she stated calmly. "Now start talking."

Chapter 12 - In His Protective Bubble

~ No harm will ever come to you. Not from me, not from anyone else. And while I'm here, no word of mine will ever hurt you - Edge of Love ~

"WHAT!?" Arnav exclaimed, his eyes a charred caramel, burning with anger, his hands clenched into fists and controlled at his sides for fear that if he loosened his muscles for even a second that he would pounce forward and throttle Shashi with his bare hands. He looked down, away, not wanting to lash out just yet, keeping his irrupting anger at bay.

Shashi stood in mortified silence, the only audible sounds his pounding heart and Arnav's loud raspy breaths. He felt his feet slowly edging away, on their own accord, ebbing away from the man standing in front of him, only the contours of his face alighted by the cutting beams of his SUV. But his eyes stood out, the dark molten lava like orbs danced with fury and it feared Shashi to the core. He was not new to Arnav Singh Raizada's anger, nor what he was capable of doing but he would surely spare Shashi for need of sorting the more important issue at hand. Shashi felt his heart stutter and splutter between beats as he anticipated for what Arnav would say or do next.

Arnav closed his eyes, his breaths loud and ragged whilst his heart hammered in his chest, its beats echoing through his ears. "Think Arnav think, breathe Arnav. Khushi needs you right now, you can sort this man out later," he thought to himself, attempting to clear the blinding rage that was only seconds away from engulfing him completely. His eyes snapped open, his heart beat slowly pacing back to normal as he zeroed in once more on Shashi Gupta.

"So let me get this straight," he spoke through gritted teeth, his whole body pulsating with controlled anger, "you," he took another deep breath in, controlling himself even further, "you sold your daughter so you could keep your COMPANY?!" His voice becoming louder with each word until at the end of the sentence he was at the same level of anger he had attempted to control only seconds ago.

Shashi moved a shaky step back as Arnav took a threatening step forward, "no... no," he stuttered.

Arnav stood seething with anger, his every muscle flexed, like a lion awaiting to attack its prey.

"I...I," Shashi continued, trying to find the best way to put it forward without enraging Arnav even further. "Arnav," he struggled, his words shaky and quiet, "I thought they were in a relationship... I... I didn't think there would be anything wrong in agreeing to get them married off," he finished off finally, the last few words coming out a shaky whisper.

Arnav pounced on Shashi suddenly, Shashi's knees nearly buckling from the impact as Arnav took a hold of him by the collar, his hot breath on Shashi's face, beads of sweat trickling down and his breath almost halting. Shashi looked into dangerously dark eyes as they bore into him. "And so you signed a FUCKING CONTRACT!?" Arnav screamed, not loosening his grip even for a second, every brink of self control completely leaving him. Shashi placed his hands on Arnav's, attempting to calm him down, "Arnav..." He choked out, "Kh... Khushi," and felt Arnav's hands loosen almost immediately, before he was pushed back and let go of completely. Shashi stumbled back and fell to the floor and watched, a slow relief washing through his heart as Arnav walk off and got into the SUV...

****

"Khushi, can I meet you somewhere?" Khushi's eyes flew open as instant anger flared through her, the cheek of this man!

"No! You cannot!" She exclaimed into the phone, already taking it away from her ear to disconnect it.

"No Khushi... Just listen to me," she heard his voice and her blood boiled with anger and disgust, how dare he? And why had she even picked up the call? She had thought that at least he'd been phoning to own up to his mistake, to call off the wedding. She took a deep breath in, then placed the phone to her ear once more, maybe he was calling to explain himself.

"What is it? Say what you have to say on the phone, I don't have time to meet you in person!" She snapped back at him as she stuffed another folded pair of jeans into her bag.

"No Khushi I need to meet you now. And why are you in such a hurry?" His voice came through gruff, his tone now changed to demanding, controlling once more. Khushi's eyes narrowed to slits, anger spilling out of her once more.

"WHAT?! You want to meet me now?! I'm going back to Aberdeen! So say what you have to say and be done with it!" She wiped away angry tears from her face and placed another three tops in her bag.

"WHAT?!" Aakash shouted back in an equally loud tone, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Khushi how dare you leave without even telling me? Don't forget that we are still getting married!" He exclaimed, fury building up inside him. Why was it always difficult with Khushi?

Khushi's eyes widened instantly and her hand gripped tightly around the phone as she threw the items in her hand to the floor, turning around to face the window. "HOW DARE YOU?!" She screamed, "HOW DARE YOU still expect me to get married to you! You know what?!" She heard him attempting to reply but cut him off, she didn't have time to play stupid games, she had been playing enough! "You can get to hell! You and that slut that you spend every night with! And make sure you don't ever! EVER show your face in front of me again unless you want your fucking eye balls clawed out!" She yelled into the phone and without listening to any further cut the call off, her whole body racking with the anger flowing through her.

****

"Ma! It's not working! She won't come!" Aakash shouted into the phone, his words coming out in a jumble, his breathing fast and the bones of his body nervously racketing off of each other.

On hearing which Arundathi immediately stood up, clenching tightly onto her phone for fear that it may otherwise drop to the floor "What!? What the hell are you saying Aakash? Why won't she meet you?" Arundathi exclaimed into the phone, her heart pounding with anxiety.

"Ma she seems to have found out about me and Payal," his fingers were clammy against the phone and he wiped his forehead from the sweat now gathering on it, threatening to trickle down his face.

"I give you one thing! One thing to do and you mess it up?! You jackass?! Put the phone down! Now I need to come up with another plan!" She screamed and cut the phone off, immediately tapping in the number that she now knew off by heart. "Shyam? Yes forget about Arnav, we'll sort him out another day. Right now I want the same thing but the target is Khushi Kumari Gupta," she whispered the name, not sure if Arnav was lurking about in the house or not. She could never be sure but she would finish this game today once and for all!

****

"Khushi!"

Khushi turned around suddenly, her heart hitching in her throat for a second as she looked on at the figure that had just stumbled in through the door, the tears trailing down her face obscuring her view of his chiseled face slightly. She looked from the broken door to the tall form in front of her, taking in his face dripping with concern through tear-filled eyes as they brimmed up further with relief. She looked into those melting pools of brown, how they glinted ever so slightly in the light and time seemed to come to a stand still. She felt her heart thud and then begin to gallop in her chest, the speed of it almost painful, the pulses it created loud and pounding on her skin. She closed her eyes momentarily, letting the tears that had gathered spill out and streak down her cheeks, a slow hopeful smile spreading over her lips and without so much as a second thought she ran into his arms, breathing in his smell as her hands grabbed at his shirt, reassuring herself that he was in fact there in the flesh, that he was there to save her. She rested her head on the hard planes of his chest, her body already moulding into his as she felt his arms wound protectively around her slender body, pulling her in closer, his face resting in the hollow of her neck, his breath against her skin, their heart beats thudding in the same reckless rhythm.

"Khushi," Arnav whispered, his husky voice breaking through her muffled sobs as he pulled her closer, his fingers running through her hair as a slow smile of relief played over his lips. At that moment he wanted to hide her in his arms forever, protect her from his world. He took large, loud breaths as he let her warm tears seep through his shirt, he let her subtle floral smell engulf him, opening up his every pore, true relief washing over him, his face moving into her hair and placed a slow gentle kiss as her fingers tightened around his shoulders, her nails almost digging into his flesh.

He's not who I love

When suddenly her words from earlier came back to him once more, his head automatically moving away from her hair.

For once properly look into what I just said

He tightened his eyes closed, willing the words to leave his mind but felt his arms loosen around her of their own accord, sure that she was taking it the wrong way. He tried to pull away but her soft fingers dug into his flesh, her arms instead tightening their grip on him as he felt the anguish of a torn mind burn through him, but he'd control himself this one last time and then tell her of his decision. If he could.

"I don't know what she'll do Arnav!"

"What if she kills her?"  

His arms tightened around her once more, out of fear, needing to feel that she was still there.

"What if they do something worse?!"

His eyes snapped open as Shashi's words echoed through his mind. What was he doing? He needed to act fast! He started pulling away again, attempting to remove her hand from his shoulder when she pulled back and stared back into his eyes. A distant fear lurking in them, her confidence now wavering as she looked at him almost accusingly. He opened his mouth then closed it again, for not being able to find the right words, his eyes leaving her gaze and aiming to the floor, suddenly needing more space to breathe. Her hand moved up to his face, the softness of her warm fingers against his rugged skin sending ripples of calm through him and he watched from the corner of his eyes as they trailed up his jawline then froze.

"Khushi Arnav!" Garima's scream tore through the room as they stepped back suddenly, Arnav's eyes quickly took in the look of sheer terror in Garima's face as Khushi stared on in shock and confusion.

"Someone's at the door! Leave! Now!"

Arnav's eyes almost shot out as he took in the words, the meaning of them hitting him a few milliseconds later as he rapidly sprang out of the slight daze, harshly grabbing at Khushi's arm. She looked up at him now, the confusion building.

"Now! Leave! Please!" Garima cried as the pounding on the door increased.

"Wh..What? Wh...Where are we going?" Khushi croaked out, her throat suddenly dry and parched, not able to comprehend anything that was going on.

"I'll explain later. Right now we need to leave!" Arnav almost shouted, tugging her arm and as she refused to move, forcefully pulled her towards the window.

"No! What the hell is going on?!" She managed to shout, grabbing at his hand to loosen his hold, her feet dragging beneath her when he stopped, abruptly.

"Just!" He took a deep breath, "Just trust me okay?" He finally sighed out, those burnt caramel eyes saying it all and she nodded in silence, tears spilling out of her own eyes.

"Aunty?" He turned around suddenly, looking Garimas way but Garima shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes. "I'll be fine," she assured him and gestured for them to leave.

"Khushi," his voice was hoarse as he hoisted her up and placed her on the windowsill, then pulled himself up next to her, he then lifted her and placed her on the other side, then jumped out himself, seconds before a group of men led by Shyam Jha broke through the doors of the Gupta house.

~ A fight is like a fire. You think you have it under control, you think you can stop it whenever you want, but before you know it, it's a living, breathing thing and there's no controlling it and you were a fool to think you could. - Jenny Han, We'll Always Have Summer ~

Chapter 11 - I Can't Taint Our Story In Red

So the italic blue writing is for quotes from his memory. These are things that Khushi said to him during their drunken nights out. 

~ We accept the love we think we deserve - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower ~

But this isn't what I want.

He's not who I love.

He closed his eyes, too many emotions going through his mind at the one time, unable to find a way out. 

I always have and always will love someone else

His hands clenching into fists, digging his fingers into his palm, an almost anguish trembling down his whole being. 

For once properly look into what I just meant

For once...

He thumped his fist on the table, the sound of the impact resounding around the room, objects rattling and falling off.

I always have and always will love someone else

Her face, her smile playing over and over again in his mind, her touch, her hand in his all those years ago, willing him to continue. All those nights she'd told him and all the mornings he'd pretended to have been oblivious,

"You know that I love you right Arnav?" 

Her eyes filled with hope melting into his.

"You don't understand how many times you've trampled over my heart!"

Her body trembling against his, as she wept into his embrace, as he held onto her, knowing that she'd forget like she always seemed to. He leaned over the table, almost gasping for breath and sensing himself slowly losing control grabbed his coat and stormed out of the office. Her face and words not leaving him for a second. 

"Do you know what it feels like to have your heart broken? Multiple times? By the same person?!"

Her hands formed into fists, slamming off of his chest as she vented out her anger, how he had grabbed her arms, spun her around. His jaw hardened, his face taunt with rage not for her but for himself, for not being worthy of such love. 

He slammed on his breaks, bringing the car to a screeching halt, the car pushing forward slightly as the tyres gripped the surface of the road. 

I always have and always will love someone else. 

Why was she doing this all of a sudden? He put his head on the steering wheel, attempting to control the throbbing in his head, to release himself out of his thoughts. 

For once properly look into what I just meant

He slammed his head back against the head rest. All these years he had been running away from this. Thinking that with time she'd move on, give up, find someone else. And somewhere in a tiny corner of his heart he had even been happy about her relationship with Aakash. And now that the truth of that relationship had come to light he had been planning on the perfect way of letting her know and then leaving for good. He should have distanced himself from her years ago, broke off the friendship that meant a lot more than that to both of them. But in his dark grim universe, she was the only bright light and his selfishness hadn't allowed it. And now she had brought him to a point from which he wouldn't be allowed to turn away and run. She wasn't giving him that choice. It was either own up or break off from a relationship that his life depended on. He flung open the car door and slammed it shut behind him, the air inside becoming stifling with too many thoughts, his body slumped against the car, feeling helpless in too many ways.

A Memory:

"Ma!" "Don't call me that you bastard! Haven't I forbade you from referring to me as your mother when your father is away!" Arundathi exclaimed, her hand forming a bruise as it thundered off of his face. Tears sprang into his eyes as he rubbed at his cheek, the impact stinging in a way he was all too used to. With tears blurring his view he extended his arm, reaching upto the table and placed the certificate he had come into show his mother, releasing it from his trembling fingers. She glared down at him, her eyes dark and fearsome and grabbed the paper off of the table top. She maintained her glare as she scrunched it up in her hand and threw at his face, his innocence not seeming to affect her cold heart. He winced back and crouching down picked the piece of paper up once more, then stuffed it back into his pocket, still in the ragged paper ball that she had created. He slowly walked out, his feet almost dragging themselves along the laminate floor. He turned around once more only to see his younger brother being embraced in a warm hug by the same woman. He watched as she moved him back slightly, beaming up at his face as she took his certificate and placed her palm on his face, smiling, adoring and gentle. Arnav hung his head glumly and walked off, dragging his backpack on the floor with his left hand...

A Memory:

He watched blandly as she compared his report card with his younger brothers, how her furious eyes compared marks from two different years. But she wasn't new to the fact that he always topped his classes and that possibly infuriated her the most. She glared at his disinterested face and lifting the card upto his face began ripping it down the middle. He stuffed his hands inside his pockets and stared back at her evenly, he wasn't that little child anymore, he wouldn't let her affect him. Soon the report card had become scraps of little paper and she held them out on her palm then flung them at his face and he blinked slightly as they fell to the ground but continued to glare back at her, almost challenging her to continue. Widening her eyes at his audacity and shaking with anger she turned briefly towards Aakash. "Aakash beta," her voice had softened instantly, "could you go outside and look for your sister please," she requested and he promptly turned around and walked off, knowing the cue. She turned back towards him and he saw the rage irrupt inside her as she realised that he was still glowering back. He watched as she pounced forward and took a hold of him by the collars, glaring up at him as he was now too tall for her and he continued to stare down at her, his face a mask of indifference. She was seething with anger, her mind probably going over possibilities of how she could kill him. "You get one thing straight you son of a whore! You may try to be better than my son but you never will be! Remember that you are and always will be an illegitimate child!" She spat out, he broke eye contact suddenly taken back by her harsh words, his eyes widening in shock and a sudden rush of fear creeping up him. She pushed him back and less the impact but more of the aftershock of what she had just said caused him to stumble back momentarily, before fixing his eyes on her cruel face again. "Remember I will never let you be happy! Never!" She screamed, pointing her fingers at his frozen expression then stormed off. 

He opened his eyes slowly, taking in the bright light of the lamp post as he thought of the horrific memories that existed never too far below the surface. And she had kept that promise! Arundathi Raizada's ugly shadow had followed him everywhere, had been behind his every step and he spent his life battling the constant hurdles she threw at him. Although he had learned to keep the upper hand, be one step ahead, he wouldn't bring someone as innocent and fragile as Khushi into the picture. That would be wrong! Unjust! Too much had happened already, Aakash had already been using her for his  own gain, well attempting to. She needed to get away from his broken life and maybe she had just given him the reason to end it forever, release her before anything more could happen, finally let her go. So what if his soul depended on her? He'd just have to give that up too...

****

The confinements of the dark office was only lit by a simply desk lamp, the faces of it's occupants only partly illuminated by it, one glowering and evidently in control, whilst the other sat almost slumped onto the table, like a man slowly losing a battle.

Shashi had his eyes downcast, not wanting to look into the eyes of the woman sitting in front of him for fear than even one look could cause him to lose everything. He was prepared to beg, give his life but the woman seated in front of him was not one that preferred to bargain.

"Shashi! Maybe you didn't understand me when I said you wouldn't have a choice in this earlier," Arundathi's raspy voice cut through the thick silence in the room, her words cold and unwavering.

"But Arundathi I cannot force my daughter to do something she does not want to do," his voice was pleading, quieter.

"Well you'll simply have to now won't you?"

"She does not want to marry him Arundathi," he stated more confidently this time, attempting to bring courage to his words, courage that he did not really have.

"Well you and I both know what that means now Shashi don't we? I don't have anything to lose and you know I always stick to what I say don't you Shashi?" She stated with a finality.

"Well I guess I'll have to convince her somehow then," Shashi sighed giving in and pushing his chair back, stood up and let himself out of the room.

****

"Khushi you are getting married to him and that is it!" Shashi bellowed for the third time as his daughter stood glaring up at him.

"Babuji I have made my decision! I will not! And you cannot make me!" She screamed back, pointing a trembling finger at her father who she no longer understood. He had always respected her every decision and for the past few days the tension had been building up.

Garima watched in horror as the long suppressed scene blew up in front of her, a complete feeling of dread coming over as she realised that she may be a bit too late. Arnav and her would need more time and that time seemed to be rapidly slipping out of her fingers.

"Khushi this is the last time I am going to say this! YOU WILL OBEY!" He exclaimed, standing tall, willing every inch of strength that he had into the confrontation.

Her eyes snapped wider at the tone of her father's voice which had never sounded so threatening, so ruthless. She wasn't even sure if she knew the man that was standing in front of her anymore. Tears sprang to her eyes and she gulped, attempting to hold them in and not let them flow out. Keeping her head held high and sticking to a decision which she was not willing to change.

"I will not!" She shouted back, the tone of her voice matched to his, the contours of her face hard and her cheeks flushed red. "I have the right to make my own decision! I will not get married to Aakash and that is my final decision!" She bellowed, the tears now falling out of her eyes, her whole body shaking from the rage.

"No!" Garima screamed as she caught Khushi in her arms, Khushi held on to her cheek, the impact of the slap sending currents of pain through her face. She looked back at her fathers face, so ruthless, so cold, feeling a pain and hurt that she had never felt before. She felt betrayed, broken, the pang of her heart breaking into a thousand pieces searing through her. But she would not let him win! She pushed herself out of Garimas embrace, looking at her mothers concerned face, giving her a stiff nod then stood herself up. She stood herself inches away from her father once more and looked him square in the face.

"I'm leaving!" Their was a slight tremble to her voice, and it came out quieter than she had wanted to but the words rang with finality. She had made her decision. She wouldn't watch her life crumble in front of her. Shashi watched with widened eyes as she turned around on her heels and walked off and slammed her door behind her, the sound of it reverberating, echoing in his ears.

Khushi closed the door behind her, leaning against the door, letting the tears flow freely and the sobs escape. She slid down to the ground, unable to handle anything that was going on with her life. She felt hopeless and lost. Pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands she brought them to her face, trembling with tears that refused to stop.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" She screamed, the sobs continuing but louder now, her eyes red and raw. She pulled her feet closer, resting her head against her knees and let her mind go numb.

****

Arnav took his phone out again, his thumb hovering over Khushi's name for the fourth time, not quite sure what he would say to her, if he could say anything at all. He flung the phone on the bed, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. He sat on the bed, bringing his hands to his head and taking large breaths in and out.

You don't understand how many times you've trampled over my heart!

For once properly look into what I just meant

He suddenly straightened up, snapping out of his thoughts to the sound of his phone ringing. 

"Unknown?" 

He slid it on anyway, "Hello?" 

"Arnav?" 

His eyes widened immediately on hearing the quiet hoarse voice, "uncle?"

Shashi shut his eyes momentarily, thinking over his decision one last time. He took a deep breathe in, preparing himself. "Yes Arnav, I need to meet you," he finally stated.

Arnav processed this for a second, his mind whirring through too many possibilities at the one time.

Fearing the unnerving silence from the other end Shashi added in unwillingly, "it's about Khushi."

And the desperation in his voice said it all, Arnav was on his feet immediately, "where do I meet you?"

****

"Aakash. It's time," Arundathis stern voice came through the phone. He clicked it off and walked off preparing for his next step in the game...

~ They say the Devil's water it ain't so sweet, you don't have to drink right now, but you can dip your feet in every once in a little while. - The Killers, When You Were Young ~

And I actually remember where I got the pic from :P so credit goes to : http://www.flickr.com/photos/drippy2009/4102805948/in/photostream

Chapter 10 - You Hold the Keys...

So now... Khushi's side of the jaadu hai nasha hai scene ;). 

“We don’t forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it—because we need it.”

— Bree Despain

A memory:

Khushi scrunched her eyes open to the sun falling on her face. The salty tracks of her tears still encrusted on her face, her arms numb from lying on them all night. She groaned, fumbling herself up. She had been lying on her journal, the words blurred and the page wet from her tears. She had made the mistake once more, after telling herself that she wouldn't, after consoling her heart over and over again she had committed it again. Her mind continued to replay the shock in his face, how he had removed her hand from his, how he had walked away and it pierced through her heart. Fresh tears sprang from her eyes once more, unable to understand how he could ignore her feelings over and over again. 

She had decided the night before itself that she would not talk to him again. not look him in the face again but she knew deep down that she couldn't do it. She didn't have that strength in her. And right now he needed her, his father was ill, she knew how the fear gripped him, how his drinking had increased. She'd forgive him because she could see him slowly crumbling. She knew that he loved her, somewhere deep within, he loved her maybe in a different way than she expected but he still did. And that would be enough, for now it would have to be. 

"You're late!"

Khushi heard the annoyed yet divinely husky voice as if from a far away land, she smiled to herself, feeling her dream moving onto a happier one, grabbing what she thought to be a very hard pillow and hugging it to herself.

Arnav stared down at her face as she lay asleep, her face angelic and serene. He wanted to reach out and stroke her milky white skin, take the loose strands of hair off her face, brush them back and place a tender kiss on her rosy pink lips. He smiled down at her gently for a minute, taking advantage of the opportunity, then coming back to his senses attempted to wake her once more.

"Khushi! Get up! You're late!"

She scrunched up her forehead in annoyance. What the hell was this dream? She suddenly felt a presence near her and managed to pry one of her eyes open, looking up at a hazy annoyed face growling down at her. She jumped up on her bed immediately, narrowing her eyes at a seemingly annoyed Arnav.

"And stop suffocating my arm!" He growled again, and looking down at her hands she let go immediately, slightly embarrassed. Then gathering her self quickly, she began fixing her hair as she slid herself out of bed.

"Why the hell are you in my room when I'm sleeping?" She shouted annoyed, fixing her bed.

"Because you're LATE! Khushi hurry the hell up I do not have all day!"

She turned around to face him, storming up to him so that her face was only inches away from his. "So? Why are you waiting for me?"

"What the?! Did someone hit you with a baseball bat? You wanted to come to work with me!" He exclaimed, the anger building up.

Her eyes widened, an expression of complete shock on her face as she stepped back. "Oh shit! Oh shit!" She exclaimed then commenced running around the room. "I'm so sorry! I completely forgot! I'll be 5 minutes!" She shouted flinging her clothes left right and centre, then ran into the bathroom.

Arnav fell back on the bed letting out a sigh of disbelief. "She'll actually drive me mad one day!" He mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes to the heavens, then shutting them.

He sat up on the bed again as she shut the bathroom door and sat lost in his thoughts for a moment.

"Hey! Hello! Get out!" She shouted waving her hands in front of his face.

"Huh?" He mumbled, slightly flustered.

"Get out!" She screamed pulling him up and pushing him out of the room.

----

"So?" She asked landing into a chair, obviously speaking to an extremely non-responsive Arnav. Then rolling her eyes, she began mumbling to herself, "I guess I'll just have to be content with talking to myself then eh?"

He flitted his eyes up at her, gave her a disapproving look then looked back down. She made a face at him and continued.

"So when are you going to get a new interior designer?"

"In a month," he replied still assessing a file.

"Okay well I guess I can hang around till then," she mused quietly.

"What?" His head snapped up immediately, his forehead scrunching in confusion. "But? What?" He continued, completely baffled.

"Yeh, then I'll go back to Aberdeen, cut my holiday short and resume work," she replied not dropping her gaze for a second, her voice extremely matter-of-fact.

"But weren't you supposed to hang around here once you were married? Wait your wedding isn't for another month," his words came out quickly, as he struggled to comprehend what was going on. The idea slowly dawning on him, yet refusing to accept it.

"Yeh but I'm not getting married," she stated with finality and placing her palms on the desk pushed herself off of the chair and walked towards the glass panel of a wall, looking out over the hustle and bustle of the office below.

His eyes widened instantly, as they flitted around processing what she had just said. He had known it wasn't working out, that she didn't want it to happen but her father was adamant on it and Khushi had never been the type of person to refuse her parents. A constant feeling that she owed her life to them for bringing in an orphan and bringing her up, so this was surprising. This wasn't like Khushi, something was up. He slowly stood up, and paced over to her.

A slight smile played at Khushis lips as she felt him edging closer, her eyes twinkling with satisfaction at the thought of having stumped Arnav Singh Raizada. He didn't know what was coming.

~ If only she could be so oblivious again to feel such love without knowing it, mistaking it for laughter - Markus Zusak, The Book Theif ~

He sighed placing his hand on her shoulder, closing his eyes for a second, rationalising his thoughts. "So let me get this straight, you aren't getting married? But aren't you usually the I'll work this out somehow type of person? You're going to walk away from something this time round?" He questioned, turning her round to face him, his molten brown eyes penetrating into hers. He wouldn't let on that he knew half the story, she wouldn't tell him anything that way and even what she would say would be partly influenced by him. 

"Yes I am," she stated, holding his gaze equally. "I realised that by going ahead with it I wouldn't be doing justice to a  lot of people, the main one being Aakash," she continued, not breaking eye contact for a second, taking in his every reaction. 

He raised an eyebrow, still unable to grasp what she was getting to. Not doing justice to Aakash? What? But he let her continue because he knew she was here to provide an explanation today. 

"It wouldn't be right to build a foundation as pure and respected as marriage on an illusion," she stepped back from him slightly, still holding his gaze. "The thing is, I've always willed my heart to love him, forced it to believe that this is what I want," she looked down, taking a deep breath, avoiding eye contact now. It was now or never. "But this isn't what I want, he's not who I love. I always have and always will love someone else," the last few words came out in a flurry, but he took a step back suddenly, the impact of what she had just said hitting him, his eyes widening finally in understanding, he looked away from her.

I always have and always will love someone else, those words replaying themselves over and over again in his mind. He felt her hand grasp his, the warmth of her touch sending a slight tremble through his body which had now turned cold. He looked down at it, for knowing nothing better that he could do, a reaction still not reaching his mind. She looked into his eyes, their gazes meeting, clashing, a slow smile spread across her lips.

"I'll let you think over what I just said, for once properly look into what I just meant," her voice was a bare audible whisper but it had a certainty and depth to it that had took every ounce of courage in her to bring forward. And with that she slid her hand out of his and without so much as a glance backwards walked out of the office, leaving behind a figure who seemed to have frozen to the spot. 

Only once she got home did she let her mind think, unleashing the full effect of what she had just done to be pondered. Involuntary tears streaking down her face, tears of both sadness and joy. The next step would be his, she had done her part. She lay back on her bed, looking up to the little sparkles of glitter that caught the light on the stars hanging from her ceiling, focusing on each sparkle, how each bead of glitter sparkled on turn. All these years she had been afraid, not ready to lose a friendship that was so precious for something which had the power to make or break it. But it was done now, a tremble passed down her spine, her body shaking still at what she had dared at today, having finally acknowledged the truth of it all. It was better to have a relationship in what it was supposed to be than hold onto it forcefully, disguising the reality under a shiny coat of false hope...

~ And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you. - FEN Sinatra ~

Chapter 9 - Playing With Fire

Extremely late update, I know :(. And I'm sorry. I was in a sort of huff and a bad mood all week and I didn't want to write an update in that mood because I probably would've ended up killing off one of the characters in my annoyance :P. But rest assured my happy mood is back! And therefore I will update in all of my happiness and sunshine ;)!

~We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand - Randy Pausch.~

"Damn it Shyam! I want this over with quickly! I feel as if he is slowly catching on to me!" Arundathi Raizada exclaimed into the phone, attempting to hide her fear in her outburst at Shyam. She didn't know which emotion was stronger anger or fear. She loathed the very sight of him, the fact that whatever happened Arnav always seemed to be in control. Slamming the phone down she screamed, the sheer terror coursing through her irrupting into a loud cry of rage. She finally slumped back, drained off all her energy, sweat beading off of her forehead, unable to comprehend how to sort this mess out.

A memory:

"I'm sorry Mrs Raizada you gave birth to a still baby. Tears streamed down her face as she felt her whole world come crashing down on her. All of her hopes and dreams, a future she had so carefully planned and seen in her mind time and time again bursting into fragments of dust in front of her eyes. Her sobs came slowly at first, then louder until she was screaming, letting it out, her body shaking against the embrace of her mother. "Shhh, shhh," she heard the hushed comfort of her mother as if she were talking from a far away land. This child had meant so much. It had meant a second chance to get back the love she deserved from her husband. Sure she could have another child, but that would take time, it would need her husband to be near her again and those were two things she simply did not have. That woman was possibly only a few doors away from her, giving birth to an alive and kicking child, a child that belonged to her husband and he would now probably move in with that whore, give her the place that was rightfully Arundathi's. Fury blended into the heart break flowing through her system and her cries became louder as she weeped for her life that was rapidly breaking apart. "Anu! Anu!" She heard her sister yell, but kept her head hidden in her mothers embrace. "Nimmi go away! Now is not the time!" She heard her mother chide her sister off. "But mamma this is important!" She heard her sister whine, a higher degree of rage building up inside of her now towards her sister. "Don't you think this is the most important thing right now?!" Her mother shouted once again, a silence followed, only the loud cries emerging from within her being heard, as her sister processed the thought in her mind. "But Anu! That slut just died giving birth to a baby boy!" She felt her heart thud and stop for a second as Nimmi blurted out what she had been stuttering to say so far. Blind rage consumed her as her eyes snapped open and she pulled away from her mother. She stood up, still unsteady, ready to slap her sister for being unmindful of her feelings, not for the first time, her mind replaying her sisters words, then stopped, frozen to the spot. "...died" she replayed the word in her mind several times, as if she was just figuring out its meaning. The woman had died and left behind a boy?

Arundathis eyes snapped open, the raw rage consuming her once more and she dialled a different number. "To hell with the will!" She exclaimed. She had had enough!

****

Payal stormed into the hotel room, exhausted from the pile of work Arnav Singh Raizada seemed to be capable of making her do. She shrugged out of her blazer and let it fall to the floor, then stepped out of her heels, watching the sun set in the horizon. She poured herself a glass of water, the coolness of it misting around the glass and a trickle of condensation pouring off of the brim. She brought it to her lips and downed it, letting the ice cold liquid relax her mind.

"Your brother is an absolute asshole!" She growled through gritted teeth, grasping the cool glass in her hands.

"Oh what a shame and there I was expecting a better compliment," a husky voice replied.

Payal felt her whole body freeze in terror as her eyes widened and the glass slipped out of her hand crashing to the floor. She gulped, bile rising in her throat as she slowly turned around to face who she had dreaded and she froze once more, her heart falling to the pit of her stomach.

Arnav leaned against the wall, appraising his prey, his eyes now the colour of dark rust. If only she had been as worthy an opponent as he had hoped her to have been. He began advancing upon her, taking slow deliberate steps as she continued to stand, almost as if she was unable to move.

"Oh I'm sorry did my drop in scare you?" He questioned, a slow smirk playing at his lips, his voice as sweet as honey.

She gulped, feeling sick, breaking into a cold sweat. She willed herself to move, her foot moved back and crunched on glass, she yelped quietly as a shard of glass pierced her heel, her breaths coming out louder and quicker. He was in front of her now and she was trapped.

"So Payal? Do you like playing games?" His voice had hardened now, she took another step back as his face came to within inches away from hers, ignoring the pain of more pieces of glass piercing her foot. He made a grab for her neck, she felt his fingers dig into her skin as she stumbled back and her back hit against a table.

"Trapped are we?" She shook in fear, her eyes wide with terror as she looked into raging dark eyes, his every muscle taunt with anger.

"I asked you a question Ms Payal! Do you like playing games?!" He growled through gritted teeth and she winced in pain, almost choking as his fingers tightened around her throat.

She screamed in pain as she felt herself being slammed into the table, her spine almost snapping from the impact and he let her go as she slumped to the floor. She gasped for air, coughing reflexively, her hands massaging her throat. She watched, tears spluttering out of her eyes as he crouched down, his rust chipped eyes boring into hers.

"Get up!" He yelled, his voice booming through the vast space of the room. She willed herself to move but couldn't.

"GET UP!" Her roared louder, yanking her up. She screamed in pain as he pulled her up to face her once more.

"Aw I'm sorry am I hurting you?" His voice was soft again, she stood trembling, afraid of what he may do next. Their was a manic glint to his eyes. "Well my deary I'm afraid if you want to hurt someone that's dear to me, well," he continued in that same soft, calm tone, tucking a loose strand behind ear. She winced away from him, sniffling away tears. Her body went rigid once more as his fingers dug into the sides of her chin, lifting her head up to face him and she attempted to look away from burnt caramel eyes glaring into hers.

"You tell your boyfriend to stay away from Khushi!" His breath was hot on her face. "I want him breaking off this marriage by next week!" His voice was controlled, unrelenting. Her body shook with raw fear as her mind processed the full impact of messing with the man that was Arnav Singh Raizada. "Do you understand?"  There was a slow snarl spreading over his face now and she stared at it almost unable to fathom the situation. "I said do you UNDERSTAND?!" He roared once more and she jumped back slightly, nodding as his fingers still gripped her chin.

"Well that's good then isn't it?" That husky voice was back as he let go of her and moved back. She slumped against the desk, still heaving for breath.

"And Payal," he took another step forward and she stood upright against the desk, fear gripping at ever pore of her body.

"If word of our little get together today gets back to Aakash," he continued bringing innocence to his eyes, "then I'm afraid I won't hesitate in taking Lavanya's life," he stated feigning an apologetic look.

Her eyes widened further and she felt herself almost suffocating in the grim turn of events.

"But that's it for now," he smiled. "Thanks for the invite!" He called off already walking towards the door. "And Payal," she watched horrified as he turned back round once more.

"Do give this back to Aakash," he said throwing Aakash's Blackberry on the bed. I'm afraid he must have left it with you this morning," he continued facing the door as he clicked it open then let himself out.

****

Arnav sat back in his recliner, closing his eyes, his mind in a distant blank place. A place that he now rarely re-visited. There had been a time when every lonely moment he had had, his mind had reverted back to those dark grim thoughts of the past. But now he had risen above them, they no longer haunted his mind constantly. He had taken those broken shards, let them pierce him and become stronger. But life was such that moments would never quite be forgotten, especially ones that were etched into your mind from a very young age, an age where he had not properly been able to understand the cruelty which was constantly dispelled towards him, by none other than who he had thought to have been his own mother.

His three year old self that had been beaten for longer than his young mind could have bared for waking his mother when she had been sleeping. All of those nights when his father hadn't been there and he had been left to starve. The belt marks on his back, that were no longer so evident but still present beneath the surface and pained in the same intensity.  The only person who had provided the smallest of solace had been his father and then later Anjali and her innocent smile. Once his siblings had been born he had not been allowed to go near them, touch them.

"Don't you dare touch my son you dirty bastard!" Her words had pierced his heart in a way he had not been able to handle at such a tender age and it had been  many years later that he had found the true reasons behind it.

But he was only human, like every other person and the child he had been should not have been ill-treated for mistakes he had not committed. And if she had not been able to treat him as a human, he did not see any reason to treat her as one.

His eyes snapped open as his phone vibrated, it was Garima. He slid the phone on immediately.

"Yes aunty?" His throat was till raw from the thoughts that had been passing through his mind and he quickly cleared it.

"Arnav, are you okay?" Her voice was concerned, having noticed a slight hoarseness to his voice.

He smiled slightly, a sadness appearing in his eyes for something that he could never have. "Yes aunty I'm fine. What have you got for me?"

"Okay beta, well I've been keeping an eye on him but he hasn't been talking with anyone suspicious. Just his business associates."

"No Aakash?" He questioned, slightly confused, his brows furrowing.

"Yes no Aakash," she stated.

"Business associates? Which ones aunty? Do you know?"

"Yes Arnav just his business partner and Arundathi."

Arnavs eyes widened immediately. He had been right. There was no way Aakash was capable of masterminding any plan on his own.

****

Khushi jumped suddenly at the sound of her phone going off. "Oh for godsake! Always at the wrong time!" She growled to her self and silencing it stuffed it back into her pocket. "Shit!" She cursed inwardly at having lost sight of him once more. "Mamma! This is all your fault!" She mumbled through gritted teeth then continued to walk through the car park, her eyes scanning the vast space. "Where the hell did he go?!" She continued to mumble to herself as she quickened her steps, the grim light of the car park making it even more difficult to make anything out.

And that's when she spotted him, smiling at a petite, dark haired girl. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open suddenly at the sight in front of her. He started turning his head her way and she immediately hid behind the pillar, scrunching her eyes shut. Still quite unable to believe what was going on. She peeped back out to witness Aakash brushing a strand of hair off her face and she watched in shocked disbelief as he brought her face next to hers. She felt her whole being shudder with the truth that was slowly dawning upon her and her heart crash into a million pieces as her fiance stood in another's arms. Tears sprang to her eyes and she turned back around, slowly sliding to the floor, keeping a tight hold on the loud cries that threatened to escape from within her. Her whole body trembling from the shock of what she had feared for so long.

Khushi finally broke down, her shoulders shaking with her loud sobs as she cried for too many things falling apart at the one time. Banging the back of her head against the pillar thinking of all the times during the past when she had made the wrong decisions. Crying for the second time someone had broken her fragile heart. And she  sat there for god knows how long, letting her tears drench her top.

So take a bow cause you've taken everything else

You played the part, like a star you played it so well

Take a bow cause the scene is coming to an end

I gave you love, all you gave me was pretense, so now take a bow

--

She lay on her bed that night, all the thoughts and memories of a relationship she now felt she had possibly never been happy with running through her mind. Aakash's face flashing in and out of her mind. She scrunched her eyes shut, the tears never seizing to stream out of them. Her mind whispering the pain of a broken heart, of a broken love, the image of Aakash immediately being replaced by Arnav's face. 

The tears flowing out faster at the thought of a past which had led to this meltdown. She sat up suddenly, her eyes snapping open. "Fuck Aakash!" She shouted.

And the future's about to change, before you know it

The curtain closes, take a look around

There's no one in the crowd, I'm throwing away the pain

And you should know that your performance made me stronger now

So take a bow cause you've taken everything else

You played the part, like a star you played it so well

Take a bow cause the scene is coming to an end

I gave you love, all you gave me was pretense, so now take a bow...

 It was time she started doing what she should have all of those years ago...

So instead of giving you guys an extra extra long update I decided to sort of just increase the pace. Because usually I update atleast twice a week and I didn't do that this week. So sorry there weren't any Arshi scenes but *hint* *hint* *wink* *wink* for the next chapters!

Chapter 8 - Your Heart In My Hands

Lil confession: I had to steal the Jaadu Hai Nasha Hai scene. It's one of my favourites and I was way too tempted :P. 

Keep in mind that only Arnavs memory of what happened is explained in this chapter, you'll have to wait to see the full picture ;). So before you jump to conclusions and ask why Khushis still his friend and all that all comes up later :).

Arnav stirred in his sleep, a slow ache arising from the back of his neck as he placed his hand infront of his face to block the piercing rays of the sun. He squinted his eyes, attempting to toss onto the other side when his knee hit something and he tried to open his eyes. Blinking several times he managed to finally groggily pull himself up, stretching his arms as he attempted to relax his neck then suddenly sat bolt upright as he took in his surroundings. He had been lying asleep inside his car, which was still where he had parked it the night before. Panic quickly rose in his mind once more as he attempted to place Khushi but that too died off, instead being replaced by a slow smile as he watched her sleep on the backseat, bundled up in a fetal position. How drunk had he been? How drunk had she been? And how the hell did they even manage to get back into the car? He smirked at himself, happy that bits of his old life were gradually coming back with the arrival of Khushi. They had too many forgetful nights to count and this would add to yet another one. And for what must be the umpteenth time he wished he could undo what he had did all those years ago, not once but over and over again because his heart was too stubborn to understand what she had held out.

A memory:

"Arnav!" Khushi exclaimed waving her hands in front of his face. "Earth to Raizada!" He flickered his eyes towards her, sighing heavily, "hmmm," then continued to scan the club, still not quite drunk enough to drown his sorrows. Things weren't going well back home, the only person that had consistently stood by his side was now withering away on a bed and he wasn't even able to go home, be by his side. He could foresee a changing future, one he would not be welcome in. Alcohol was oblivion, a way out and when that wasn't enough a woman could always satisfy his needs. 

"Arnav, it'll all be okay," she reassured him resting her hand on his. He looked down at her hand then back up at her face and gave her a slight smile which did not quite reach his lips then continued to twirl the glass on the table top. 

--

Someone shoved past Arnav, knocking him into an already tipsy Khushi and he put his arm around her, catching her fall as they both collided against each other, their sudden irruption of laughter echoing throughout the vast empty road. He put a had out and steadied himself then slowly started to move away only for their loud laughs to fade in to little hiccups of laughter then stop altogether as melted chocolate brown eyes met clear hazel ones, they both stood, seconds ticking by, gazing into each others eyes, the smile still present on their lips. He blinked slowly as he took in her mesmerising soft eyes, her little button nose and finally rested on her soft petal lips. He began to move forward as she moved her head back, her smile gradually fading, his breath against her, her breasts heaving against his chest. He moved a stray hair off of her face, cupping her face in his hands as she closed her eyes, he took in the light tremble of her lips as he moved in closer, when suddenly Arnav's phone broke the silence, snapping Khushi's eyes wide open. Arnav froze, his eyes widening in horror, he moved away immediately, dropping his hands to his side, then looked away. Khushi continued to watch his face, slightly dazzled and without thinking extended her arm, placing her hand in his. She watched his face in anticipation as he looked at her hand in his then back at her face. She smiled at him lightly, her eyes glistening with passion but he quickly looked away, breaking his hand away from hers then walked away, leaving a baffled Khushi behind. 

He had refused to accept his feelings for her all those years ago and when he had finally realised what he had done it had been too late. Too late.

****

Arnav sipped his coffee as he sat with his feet up on the coffee table, glancing through the files the hacker had been able to unearth from both Arundathi and Aakash's laptops, a slow smirk spreading on his lips. "Well well look who's been busy," he commented scrolling through Arundathi's files which consisted of several copies of different power of attorneys; each and every single one transferring something or the other Arnav owned to her name. He chuckled lightly at her stupidity, wondering to himself how long she had been making up these papers for. Aakash's lovely facebook conversations with Payal, very cheesy and cringe-worthy also came up. He copied all of them onto another disk, saving them to use to his advantage later. Clicking through, his eyes suddenly narrowed as one of Arundathis e-mail conversations opened up, exchanged between a Shyam Jha. Arnav put the coffee mug on the table, taking his feet off of it and sat up, adjusting the laptop so that he was concentrating fully on what had been sent. Slight understanding flashed across his face as he read brief messages of a job, 5 lakhs and a will. He then closed the laptop, after taking out the flash drive and his own disk which he pocketed to put in the vault. Picking up the finished mug of coffee he sauntered out of the room, that satisfied smirk back on his face.

****

Garima and Arnav sat in silence, as Arnav ran his finger over the rim of the coffee mug thinking over what Garima had said properly, trying to comprehend the situation clearly. Garima watched his concerned face, his eyebrows knotted and his eyes distant as he thought things through. If only Khushi had had the sense to choose the right brother, Garima thought to herself.

"So uncle is adamant on Khushi marrying Aakash?" Arnav finally broke the silence, still quite unable to fathom that a father could do such a thing.

Garima nodded back silently, disappointment clear in her face, "and this is what I can't understand, even for the sake of money could you do that to your own daughter?" She questioned as if she was saying it to herself.

"Okay." He said suddenly adjusting himself on the chair and rubbing  his palms together. "This is how we are going to go about it." Garima moved in closer to listen. "We need to find out what uncle's plan is before we do anything," he said matter-of-factly. "And then we decide our plan of action," he stated, his eyes studying her reaction.

Garima nodded, slightly unsure, "but what do you mean? How are we going to do that?" She questioned, confused by what he meant exactly.

"Well first aunty I need your word that you'll help me in any way possible," he studied her face again and his mind relaxed as he watched her start nodding her head instantly.

"Of course beta!" She said quickly, "that is why I'm here. I'm sick and tired and my daughter will not be sacrificed!" She stated with a finality. "You have my word," she said looking him straight.

"Good! So basically I want you to watch your husbands every move, find out where he goes who he meets and what he talks about, and don't miss out on anything when you tell me about it." "Something is going on behind the scene here and that's what we need to find out." "I'll let you handle it for a week and if you find nothing then I'll take over." He finished off finally, his sharp eyes not once leaving her face.

Garima breathed out heavily, acknowledging everything Arnav had said and finally her lips parted to a tiny smile as she agreed, "I'll keep you posted on everything."

****

"Lavanya, I've changed my mind. I want you to fly straight to Mumbai," Arnav instructed into the phone, quite relieved that he had come up with this new change of plan. More time away from the annoying secretary.

"But ASR," she moaned, "why?"

"Don't ask questions Lavanya. Just do what I'm telling you to do!" He snapped, his temper rising once more.

"Okay okay sorry ASR. I'll change my flight booking," she assured him.

****

Khushi tossed and turned scrunching her closed eyes, then slowly opening them and taking in the blurry surrounding of the room began stretching, taking in the comfort of her bed then sat up with a start. The blur of her sleep suddenly disappearing, she looked around with wide eyes at the familiar items of her room. "What the hell? How did I get here?" She mumbled to herself, knotting her eyebrows together. "Shit! How drunk was I?" She grumbled, rubbing at her eyes.

She slowly climbed out of her bed, looking down disapprovingly at her clothes from last night. She looked up to her clock and her eyes widened in horror. "2 o'clock? Shit! Shit! Shit!" She screamed then grabbing her towel quickly ran into the bathroom.

Finally having had a long shower, letting a night of too much booze and lost memory completely wash off of her body she stepped out and changed into her comfy harems and a peach top then began brushing her teeth. Scrubbing away and stopped mid-stroke, her eyes widening at herself in the mirror, the brush still on her teeth.

"I need you Arnav."

Her brush slipped out of her hand and fell into the sink. "Shit!" She washed the brush again, squeezed the toothpaste out with trembling hands, trying to control the storm raging inside of her. She wasn't supposed to go out drinking with him for a reason. She resumed her brushing, her mind going over all of the possibilities of what she could do, reverting back to every other time she had said something she hadn't wanted to in a drunken state. And almost immediately a slow calm spread over her, on remembering all those time she had gone through this process of worrying only to find that Arnav never really remembered what she said when he was equally as drunk. And for a second she wished that he sometimes could remember, maybe, just maybe it wouldn't have caused her to arrive at these crossroads.

"Arnav," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Yes?"

Came a husky voice from behind her, she turned around instantly only to be faced with Arnav, leaning against the door frame, clad in a grey shirt, black tie and waistcoat. She turned back round to the sink quickly and washing out her mouth and face, turned back towards him, grabbed the towel and walked past him. "Have you just randomly started appearing in places now?" She asked, annoyed, facing away from him. The frustration of what always seemed to happen still clouding her mind.

"Well I gained new special powers," he said from behind her, amusement in his voice.

She rolled her eyes again as she grabbed the brush and began running it through her hair.

He started walking towards her, the words from last night reverberating through his mind,

"I need you Arnav." 

He remembered the desperation in her voice, her innocent troubled eyes.

How his arm had instinctively wound her close to him, how right she had felt in his arms.

He was losing it all over again, falling for her madly once more and he couldn't even distance himself from her this time, this time he had to be there.

He knew that once this Aakash fiasco came to light, he would have his chance again. That she'd fall back onto him and he wasn't even sure if he could walk away from it this time round. But the truth of it all was she deserved better, she deserved a man who wasn't tainted with a disgusting past and an almost impossible future. She deserved a man who wasn't broken, a man who could respect her feelings without trampling on them over and over again. The truth of it was he didn't think he was worthy of a person who could never harm anyone, she deserved a lot better than a beast who was fighting to keep an identity that he wasn't born with.

He sighed deeply, bringing himself back to the present. "Anyway," he finally said stopping, "I just came over to check up on you," he said quietly, sensing her foul mood and turned round to walk away.

"Hey!" She ran after him and grabbed his arm, annoyed with herself for ignoring his efforts. "Don't go. I'm bored!" She said for nothing better to say, pouting.

He turned back round smirking at her. "Then get your ass back to Aberdeen and get back to your job!" He retorted.

"Shut up! I have things to do here and I have a job break for 6 months!" She half-shouted back. "Speaking of which, you were complaining about your interior designer yesterday right? I could help you," she piped up, grinning.

He appraised her for a minute, a smile playing at his lips.

"Please Arnav! I'm so bored," she whined.

His smiled widened, acknowledging the perfectness of this opportunity.

"Okay okay! Fine! You can work with me till you're here," he replied pretending to have given in, I fired my designer this morning anyway."

"Oh god! You're such a grouch! And yeyy!" She yelled jumping up and down.

He rolled his eyes at her antics. "You start tomorrow! And be ready on time, I'll come get you!" He ordered then strode off.

She watched his retreating back making a face. "Grouch!" She shouted at his back and resumed brushing her hair.

****

Arnav watched Payal as she stopped mid-way down the steps, took her handbag and re-checked it to see if she was was missing anything, then fixing her hair and skirt continued down the stairs. He smirked, downing the last of his scotch. Then placing the glass on his table strode out of his office. Preparing himself for his next move. The game just got interesting.