Chapter 18 - Meet Me In The Pouring Rain

When I wrote this chapter I imagined it in the first Arshi rain scene.

The song used in this chapter is "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, do listen to it if you haven't already ;) x.

~

I didn't want to kiss you goodbye. That was the trouble.

I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there’s a lot of difference. – Ernest Hemingway

~

Her sobs seized momentarily as she felt someones hand on her shoulder, slightly rough warm skin on her own cold skin and she instantly knew who it was and her senses seized to work for a second. She turned around, her body colliding off of his to face melted chocolate pools of regret, of anguish. Their gazes held and more than ever she wanted to dive in and loose herself in the depths of them, hide herself from the world. As the tears continued to trail down her cheeks his hand moved up to her face, his rough skin grazing her soft tender one, his thumb moved to the edge of her eye catching her teardrops as she closed her eyes for a second taking in the sodden beauty of it all. He looked away slowly moving his hand away from her but her wrist went around his arm, the fingers slowly falling on it one by one and he struggled to keep his walls up. His carefully guarded mask quickly breaking. The raindrops began to fall more rapidly, a speckle on his arm, on her hand, his hair, her face and then began coming down all at once. With the force of rain that aimed to drench, they pelted down, like shards of ice. Her hand moved into his, her fingers fitting into the spaces between his and his fingers closed around hers of their own accord as he pulled her in closer, his eyes clashing into blazing honey spheres once more. Soon her body was against his, their hearts thudding to a similar beat and the rain continued to pour, drenching them in all it's glory. But their gazes held through the blurring rain, piercing through the curtain of water as his arm went around her waist and pulled her in closer, her fragile form moulding into his embrace, water dripping off of their bodies. He felt the shivers run down her as her hazel orbs peered into his sweltering dark caramel ones, seeking answers that she did not have, answers that she desperately needed.

Heart beats fast
Colours are promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer...

Slowly removing his fingers from hers, he brought his hand to her cheek once more, cradling her trembling face in his warmth and she closed her eyes, more tears streaming down her face, mingling with the cold rain drops, seeking solace. She let her hand trail down his arm, sliding through drops of water.

"Khushi I... I'm sorry," it was a murmured whisper, his husky voice almost inaudible. And her eyes snapped open, sensing what he was really trying to say, her hand froze on his arm, her nails almost digging into his flesh and as their gazes collided once more she tried to decipher the meaning in his drowning molten eyes, the remorse clear, her eyes flitting through the contours of his chiseled face then back to those deep brown spheres. She closed her eyes heavy with tears, letting them drop in large drops, pushing away from him slowly. But he wouldn't let go, his grasp around her waist too tight, his fingers against her skin as the thin fabric of her top clung to her body. "Khushi," his voice was a hoarse whisper, his face too close, his lips brushed against her forehead as he spoke and she moved in closer willing this not to be the last time.

"Khushi... I..." He had to, he couldn't no. He had to, it was now or never.

"Khushi, I.." His lips were against her forehead and he felt her slowly nod as if she knew what he was about to say, but he wouldn't break her like that, no he couldn't break her like that. "Khushi. I love you!" It was a silent murmur, almost inaudible through the deafening rain as it fell down on them in torrents and he closed his eyes, his lips still against her skin, knowing that he'd let himself go for the first time, knowing that there'd be consequences but knowing that this was the only choice he could make. Her eyes snapped open against him, the words reaching her a little too late, a little too quiet and she thought she'd heard it in a dream.

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still 
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath 
Every hour has come to this 

One step closer...

Her fingers clutched against his shirt, her tender fingers pressing against his skin through the soaked material, her breath hitching in her throat as she processed his words. She slowly moved back her head, and her forehead grazed against his chin as their gazes clashed and she felt herself falling into his pools of melted chocolate, his sweltering eyes unwavering as drops of rain pelted onto her face. He watched her quivering lips, her bewildered eyes needing to know that his words were real. He felt her fingers let go of him, trembling as the rain drops continued to fall and he moved his hands to her cheeks, cupping her face in them, watching with tenderness as her eyes followed, out of the fear that this was all not true. "Khushi I love you," his husky voice louder this time, needing so badly to let her know that he was there for her, that he would always be there for her. As her eyes widened in disbelief, he moved her face closer to his, their noses almost touching and let his lips linger on the soft skin of her forehead. And his touch blazed through her, warming the blood that gushed through her veins and her hands trailed to his back as she crashed into him, her body shaking with the hopeless sobs that broke out of her. She rested her head in the space of his neck, letting her tears mix with his rain soaked shirt as his arms went around her back, enveloping her body to his as his body trembled along with her sobs, as he rested his face against her drenched hair.

"Khushi I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have, I couldn't," he closed his eyes trying to find the right words. "Khushi I couldn't leave, I... I tried," he spoke into her hair, his lips against the wet tendrils of her hair. "And maybe I should have said it earlier, not left it this late," his voice was raw, the remorse clear. Maybe she wouldn't be so broken if he'd made up his mind quicker. Or was this still right?

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

"I love you too," her voice was timid, her lips brushing against his neck, her warm breath spreading through his quivering body. "I always have," she spoke through her sobs, her voice breaking with each breath and her nails dug into his back as her chest heaved with her difficult breaths. "I.."

"Shh," he slowly moved her out of his embrace, his hand nestling her face once more, "shh Khushi," he hushed her, "stop crying," he whispered placing another kiss on her forehead, she closed her eyes basking in it's essence, her pain forgotten, pushed to the edges of her mind. She felt her heart burst into a thousand little flutters, his lips against her skin sending sparks from the core of her heart to the tips of her fingers.

"Please don't leave," her glistening eyes pleaded.

"I won't," his voice was reassuring as his arms trailed round her back once more, hugging her to him.

"Arnav, why couldn't you say this before?" An innocent question, her voice still shaky and quiet.

"I don't know," a quiet whisper, genuine to a point. For his explanations felt pathetic, useless when it came to thinking of what he had been about to let go. What that could have done to her. What it could have done to him. What he had already caused.

"Why did you tell me now?" A nearly inaudible murmur, her sobs now replaced by questions.

"Because it was either this or letting you go," the real truth this time, because that was what it had come to. Maybe not so much voicing that it was her broken form, her loud ragged sobs, the fact that she needed him next to her more than away. The fact that his theories when it came to Khushi were always wrong.

She pushed back from him suddenly, her hands strong against the muscular planes of his chest and he moved back a little confused. His eyes met her blazing ones, a distant storm raging through them. "Because I love you and you bombard me with too many questions!" He stated calmly, pulling her into another embrace, her arms squeezed against his chest as a slow smile spread over his lips. He knew she needed answers and although most of his would be incomplete, he'd have to tell her.

"That's not an answer," she mumbled into his chest, her anger slowly dissipating and relief washed through him as he heard the agony in her voice gone, felt that she was slightly mended. The erratic beats of his heart gradually began to fall to normal as she took her hands from between their chests and ran them around his neck, her face coming up to meet his as the drops of rain continued to crash down. "I wish you'd confessed earlier," she admitted, her golden orbs gentle, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

"Me too," he admitted, smiling as he moved the loose strands of hair stuck to her face.

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more...

He watched her soft features, the sudden little spark then a little tug of a smile on her lips. She couldn't help but be taken over by happiness, his three words sprouting too much joy in her mind, overshadowing everything else. Every question, the heartbreak, his silence, his hidden truths dying on her lips and moving to some place at the back of her mind, for retrieval later whilst she revelled in this moment. In his embrace, in his love as the sky started clearing, a thin ray of sun appearing from the edges of the horizon, as the large rain drops became speckles once more and then a tiny drizzle, glistening slightly from the sun shining off of them.

~ We were together. I forget the rest. – Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman ~

****

"Shyam? This is Aakash here, do you know where my mother is?" Aakash's voice was shaky with nervousness. In the back of his mind the thought that something was wrong playing over and over again. 

Shyam frowned, when will the Raizada's leave him alone? "Er yes Mr Aakash I'm sorry the last I know she was on her way to the airport."

"Yes I know that Shyam! I'm asking you what happened after that!" Aakash exclaimed into the phone, his patience running out.

Shyams features began twitching as he inwardly cursed himself again for taking up this contract to begin with. "Well yes Mr Aakash I don't know what happened after that."

"Damn it!" Aakash exclaimed cutting the call off. He had reached yet another dead end. 

****

Arnav watched her face smiling for a few seconds then gently moving her out of his embrace, let his hand trail down her arm then clasping her hand in his began to walk towards his car. She watched in confusion, the fact that he might leave her again still clouding the back of her mind. "Where are we going?" 

Cocking up an eyebrow he looked at her, "erm out of this rain," he stated matter-of-factly, "unless you want me to drown in my own clothes," he added pulling at the soaked material of his shirt. And he watched fondly as she broke into a tinkling little laugh, the worry lines on her forehead all but disappearing. 

"I think we should wait out here a little more," she suggested taking her hand out of his then spinning around once in the rain catching the rain drops. 

Arnav rolled his eyes to the heavens, what was she even made of? "Khushi!" He moaned grabbing her hand then pulling at her to follow him. 

"Arnavv," she pouted, "we are at the beach!"

"Oh really? I kinda didn't notice that," he smirked turning back towards her. 

"Shut up! Don't forget Arnav you've still not completely been forgiven!" She stated crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I mean unless you do what I say," she added in on seeing the smirk on his face drop and his eyes darken slightly. 

He watched her expression raising an eyebrow, "and what's that?" 

"Let's go get ice cream!" She exclaimed, grabbing his hand. 

His eyes widened immediately, "Khushi are you freaking mad?! It's raining!"

"So? You know how much I love ice cream in the rain! And you never agree!" She moaned pulling him with her.

"No Khushi!" he shouted pulling her back. 

"Fine," she stated turning around and pouting. 

He rolled his eyes, yep she was definitely back to normal and he was completely glad that  for the first time he'd finally followed his heart. "Okay okay, fine," he finally gave in, lifting his arms in surrender, "but if I fall sick I'll cough and sneeze all over you!" He stated making a face.

"Yeyy!" She shrieked, a bright smile adorning her face, "and don't worry I'll be your own personal nurse," she winked leaning into him and taking his arm. 

He smirked back raising his eyebrow, "aah Khushi too many fantasies."

She felt her cheeks take on a bright hue of pink and slapped his arm blushing, "urgh Arnav," she pushed him as he chuckled away. She felt relaxed for the first time in days as she ran her arm through his and watched his face as they walked off together knowing that he was finally hers and that the happiness that that evoked was enough to over-shadow everything for now. The reassurance that she was no longer in this alone, that he would be there for her offering her heart an unusual sort of solace. Maybe she had already forgiven him for taking his time, but maybe she'd still make him suffer a little bit more.