Chapter 19 - As Our Heart Beats Become One

Taking it a little lightly in this one. The last few chapters created havoc on my mind :P. So a light-hearted chapter for the weekend ;) xx

~ I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything. – F. Scott Fitzgerald ~

"I can feel a cold coming on," Arnav moaned making a face as he reversed into her parking lot.

Khushi watched him frowning, "Arnav shut up! You can't feel yourself getting a cold!"

"Yes you can, well I can! Obviously your senses don't work very well," he stated looking at her as she made a face at him. "Okay whatever," he said rolling his eyes, not wanting to annoy her too much.

"Yeh whatever! You aren't getting a cold you're just weird!"She stated whilst throwing a glare at him then proceeded to open the door but suddenly stopped when she saw him still sitting there with the engine on. Was he not coming with her? Would he leave her again? Her thoughts became a flurry again as she processed this. Had he just confessed to make her happy and then decided to leave without telling her?

He watched her as several emotions flitted through her face, creases forming on her forehead as she thought through something, "what's wrong Khushi?" He questioned immediately, his voice gentle and filled with concern as he placed his palm on her face, peering into troubled golden eyes.

"Are you leaving?" She finally managed to mumble out, her lips trembling slightly, her hand on his.

He looked down, realisation dawning on him. She didn't trust him and he couldn't blame her, gulping down the tormenting guilt that rose through him he attempted a slight smile, then looked back into the depths of her eyes. "I'll come back, I just need to go get a few things," he reassured softly.

"And what if you do just leave?" Her voice was timid, tiny tears ebbing their way to the edge of her eyes.

"Khushi I won't," he smiled gently and took her hand into his, entwining his fingers between hers, "I promise," his caramel orbs unwavering.

She watched his eyes, watching to see if he was hiding anything but all she saw was clarity, unclouded truth and she wanted to believe him. Shut up her questioning mind. He hadn't left, he hadn't let her down yet. So she didn't have a reason to doubt him did she? "Okay," she finally nodded, her voice still just above an audible whisper and let herself out as he watched her slender form, the fabric of her top still clinging to her smooth skin.

As he drove off watching her still standing at her door through his side mirror he felt his insides clench with the guilt coursing through him. Everything was wrong yet still right. His excuses seemed too small, his actions too cowardly. Watching her pain, her sudden insecurities and her almost unquestioning acceptance he felt he couldn't forgive himself. He'd possibly unknowingly pushed her Aakash's way, associated himself to her and made her a target for Arundathi. And maybe minutes before he'd done the only right thing he had ever done when it came to Khushi. To put into words what he would put himself through to protect her, how much he loved her was impossible. He was still unsure if he was being selfish, if he had let her go on without him wouldn't she have picked up the pieces and eventually moved on? Was it because he'd known that he'd never be able to move on? And would these questions always haunt him? Yes he had an answer for that, they always would, he'd possibly always wonder if his step today had been right. He slammed his hand off of the steering wheel, damn it! Why was it this difficult?!

****

Garima picked up on the first ring, she'd fallen asleep next to the phone and had continued to sit next to it once she'd woken up. She hadn't wanted to call up Khushi herself, wanting to give her daughter some space and she put the phone to her ear hoping to Devi Mayya that it would be Khushi.

"Amma?" There was a liveliness to her voice that had been absent the day before and for a second Garima couldn't help but think that Khushi was finally okay.

"Yes bitiya, tell me."

"Amma I just called to say that I'm okay," she smiled into the phone, picking up the discarded pieces of tissue from the night before with her free hand and walking towards the kitchen. The light smell of newly laundered clothes, her conditioner that she used a bit too much of relaxing her mind all the more.

Garima felt relief flood through her and closed her eyes thanking Devi Mayya, still slightly confused as to this sudden change but able to tell that the joy being dispelled by her angel was genuine. "Aw Khushi bitiya you don't know how happy that makes me. I'm so glad..." She felt her voice break from the grateful tears that brimmed in her eyes, "I'm so glad you're okay bitiya."

"Amma don't cry," Khushi gently pacified her mother, warm tears bubbling in her own eyes. "I erm," she formed her words gulping down her own tears, "I'm starting work tomorrow morning, so all is well in Khushi land," she spoke through a tear-filled smile attempting to change the subject.

"Khushi that's great," Garima mumbled through the tears, the joy that she felt for her daughter spilling out of her eyes.

Khushi formed more words to say when she heard a light knock on her door and felt her heart begin to soar once more, "okay Amma I think Arnav's at the door," she chimed quickly, "I'll talk to you later. Love you!"

"Okay bitiya, take care. I love you too!" Garima smiled to herself as she ended the call. So this was Arnav's doing, she didn't know what he'd done but she knew that if god forbid there came a day when any harm were to threaten Arnav, she would be the first shield standing in front of him.

"Is Khushi okay now?" She turned around on hearing the gruff voice of her husband, her features immediately turning to one of distaste.

"Yes she is no thanks to you!" She replied crudely then began to walk off.

"Garima... You know I never meant to harm her," he began his voice raw and cracked, but she held up her hand, signalling that she did not want to hear anymore.

"Shashi stop!" She threatened turning around, glaring, "I don't want to hear another word! I don't want to know!" She felt her bottled up anger irrupting suddenly, "I'm going to say ignorance is bliss here and demand that you not give me an explanation, because no explanation will be enough! So instead of letting you explain to me what in your right mind compelled you to put your daughters life in jeopardy, attempt to marry her off to a man she did not love, I'm going to ask to be left alone for now!" Her words were cutting and devoid of any emotions. When it came to her daughter even her husband did not matter anymore. She watched as Shashi nodded to himself, as if that had been what he'd expected all along and walked off.

****

"You look like a drowned rat!" She exclaimed opening the door wider, the widest of smiles planted firmly on her face, her insecurities gradually fading away, at least for the time being.

"Aw no! And I thought I looked all sexy wet," he remarked edging past her with a dozen bags.

"Don't worry Raizada you still look sexy, just drowned-rat sexy," she replied cheekily as she followed behind him, to which he turned around and made a face then continued into the kitchen. "Do you mind not flooding my kitchen and tell me what all this stuff is?" She added in as he walked around sorting through the bags.

"Food," he stated blankly then leaving the bags on the kitchen top, walked back out into her bedroom.

"Arnav where are you going?" She questioned, slightly irritated at the fact that he was just floating about her house.

"Do you still have my clothes?" He asked furrowing his brows as he pulled at things in her wardrobe. Khushi's eyes widened for a second and she quickly looked away from his questioning gaze, "erm yeh hold on I'll get them," she mumbled quickly then hurried out of the room. She had been adamant on removing every little detail of him yesterday. She'd folded up his clothes that stayed in her house and placed them in a bag in her spare room and her fingers trembled against the small zip as she started pulling it open. She heard him enter, his footsteps still slightly splotchy from the rain and gulped down the regret filled tears that threatened to break out. "I.. er.. I," her voice was quivering and she closed her eyes momentarily taking in a deep breath to stop the tears from falling out.

"Khushii..." Arnav took Khushi's hand into his and she turned around to face his chocolate brown eyes, muddied by his inner turmoil. "Khushi it's okay," he smiled lightly, his voice gentle whilst he leaned over and took the bag from her then took out some of his things.

"Arnav I didn't. I just wanted," She struggled, looking away, all her problems resurfacing suddenly and she felt as if she would break down once more.

"Hey Khushi," he whispered, holding her chin and tilting it up towards himself, "Khushi it's okay," he tried once more then as his words failed him pulled her into another warm embrace, placing a tender kiss on her hair. "We'll go about everything slowly okay? We'll sort everything out," his voice was calm and compassionate as he spoke into her hair. She clung onto him, her nails digging into the flesh of his back, through the still soaking shirt. As warm tears trailed out of her eyes once more she nodded against his chest, glad that at least he was there for her.

Slowly moving her out of his embrace, holding her gently by the shoulder he watched her golden brown eyes, glistening with tears and he traced a finger down their path, wiping them away. She looked so helpless, her slightly bloodshot eyes, her pink cheeks and button nose, her quivering delicate lips and all he wanted to do was hide her in his embrace for the rest of his life.

Her eyes flitted away from his fiery caramel spheres, unable to handle his penetrating gaze, down his chiseled nose to his full lips, the way the corners pulled up into to the tiniest of smiles, heart warming and reassuring in its essence. And her eyes started closing of their own accord as he moved in closer, her mind travelling back to a distant memory. A quiet starless night, slightly drunk, him against her, his lips inches away and then her first heartbreak. How it had snapped in two, she still pictured the yearning in her eyes and the way he had walked away from it all and her breath quickened as she feared history would repeat itself. Her heart hammered away in her chest as his arm went around her waist and he pulled her towards him, her body moulding against his, her chest heaving against his in an awkward rhythm, his warm breath on her face. And the images kept on playing through her mind, his shocked eyes, the way he'd let go of her hand and she desperately tried to get rid of them. But suddenly they were all replaced as his lips fell on hers the touch like a flame igniting, rushing its warmth through her blood. He was hesitant at first, his fingers almost clutching at her skin, through the space were her top lifted up slightly but his fears gradually were put to rest as she reacted, her lips almost fervent against his. His other hand moved from her shoulder to the nape of her neck as her hand moved up to his hair, her fingers running through it and their breaths mingled. Khushi felt the world around her, her fears, her worries everything disappear into nothingness. Yesterday suddenly felt like a distant nightmare. She sent her fingers through strands of hair pulling him closer as their lips moved against a soulful rhythm, the rhythm of their heart, their heartbeats exactly in sync. Arnav's tongue moved into her mouth, clashing against hers then searched the boundaries of her mouth, marking every inch of it as his, the taste of him sent tingles down her spine and spurted tiny little butterflies in her stomach. His hands moved up her back lifting her top with it, his warm rough skin against her silky back, leaving a scorching path in its gait, then suddenly stilled, the tips of his fingers lifting off of her back lightly and he pulled back slowly as they stood for a few seconds with their foreheads against each other, then moving his hands back to her waist he leaned back, still holding her against himself. She looked down, a rosy blush creeping up her cheeks and a corner of his mouth lifted up, the effect he had on her surprising him slightly, then he moved her out of his hold slowly as she looked left, right and centre, away from him, the after effects still sending tiny sparks through her.

"Erm, so a," he finally awoke his voice, still low yet equally husky. She looked up timidly, her gaze instantly clashing with his melted chocolate orbs and she thought she'd lose herself in them once more. "Yeh so can I go shower and change now before I drown in my clothes?" He managed to mumble out and she nodded, breaking out into a silent laugh, still dazed by what had happened, what her day had started off with and what he had made it and watched as he slowly made his way out of the room with his clothes.

****

"No! No! Let go of me!" She screamed, thrashing against the ropes tied to her, every movement causing them to cut into her skin. "LET GO!" She yelled. "How dare you! Do you know who I am?!" She growled, glaring at the man in front of her. He watched almost unfazed by it all, there was a jagged scar along the mans left cheek, as if someone had took a knife and tore out his skin. Then thinking through it again, she decided that probably was how it had been caused. She watched in horror as another two men walked into the room suddenly feeling vulnerable. She tried to move back, her feet pushing against the sheet on the bed and her hands scrunching the sheet and pulling it back with her, the rope still cutting into her skin. She felt her heart would burst out of her chest, the effort of its beats almost painful. Her throat was dry and parched and she yearned for a drop of water, her lips chipped and dry. She scrunched her eyes shut, willing this to go away as one of the men moved towards her. She felt his breath on her face, stale and hot and she flinched as her body collided off of the head board of the bed. And then there was another tiny prick and a few seconds later she slumped onto the bed once more.

****

"No no no!" He started shouting, pulling her back towards him as she attempted to move towards the television.

"Arnav let me go!" She screeched, trying to remove his hands from around her waist as he pulled her back into his lap.

"No! I will not watch DDLJ again!" He exclaimed, his arms tight around her waist as she struggled to break free, then stopped and stared at him, glowering.

"Arnav, it's either DDLJ or Devdas!" She shouted pushing him away from her and finally freeing herself from his grip.

He covered his face as he fell back onto the couch, "oh noo! Not Devdas!" he moaned into his hands.

She began giggling and pulled out the DVD from the stack, "well DDLJ wins!" She exclaimed, taking the disk out and placing it in the tray, a triumphant smile on her face as he sat back up and frowned. Pressing play she came and sat snuggling herself into him as his arm went around her pulling her in closer. He kissed her hair, her floral scent overwhelming his senses for a minute.

"Arnav," she mumbled as she still revelled in the sudden reality of it all.

"Hmm," he spoke into her hair, his eyes closed as he tried to let his joy of finally knowing that she was his not be over-shadowed by anything else.

She felt safe in his warmth and thinking about it again, pushed it to the back of her mind for another day. Too much had already happened today and she wanted to bask in its essence for now. She would ask him later, "nothing," she mumbled into his chest as a small yawn broke out of her and she scrunched her eyes as they began to droop.

He opened his eyes slowly, already knowing the weight of those words. She was pondering answers, sighing silently he decided that he would tell her. Tell her everything, he didn't want to keep secrets from her anymore. But he wouldn't tell her today, she had been through too much, he'd wait a few more days maybe. He placed his hand on her shoulder to move her back, look into the depths of those beautiful eyes once more but the corner of his mouth turned up into a smile as he watched adoringly as she slept. He tenderly moved a few strands of hair out of her face, caressing the soft skin of it, her breaths were even and rhythmic as her head nestled gingerly against his chest. He moved her body in closer, his own eyes drooping as he rested his head on hers.

And for the first time in weeks, or maybe months they both fell into a slumber that evaded all nightmares, sleep that brought dreams formed by their faces, by a love that they had finally found.

~

I’d like to say, that you’re my only fear

And when I dream, it slowly disappears.

And when I wake, I’m right here by your side...

To feel your heart, beat in and out of time. 

– Call to Arms, Angels and Airwaves

~