Chapter 15 - Breaking Apart at the Seams

~ There’s a firefly loose tonight, better catch it before it burns this place down. And I lie, I don’t feel so right, but the world looks better through your eyes. – Firefly, Ed Sheeran ~

"So I'll tel you what I know because I don't know everything and to be honest I'm still trying to make sense of some of it."

She nodded, watching his eyes and chewing on her food. Her senses slightly dim from the weakness she was feeling. Not having food since morning had been a bad idea. Her heart thudded away in her chest, the fear of what she would hear not leaving her and not knowing what to anticipate making her throat constrict, making even so much as swallowing an effort. She tried to clear her mind, bring it to one place by focusing on her chewing, the movements of her mouth, her teeth, thinking that this could help whatever Arnav had to say flow through her mind impassively.

"The thing is Khushi, there's land written in your name."

"What?" She questioned, quickly gulping down more food, confusion clouding her mind once more. "Arnav! Why are you talking about land I may and may not have?" She muttered exasperated, why wasn't he just getting to the matter at hand.

Arnav glared, annoyance rising, "shut up Khushi! I'm trying to tell you what I know! If you don't want to know then I can just keep the information to myself, drop you off in Aberdeen then go back to India!" He exclaimed in an equally irritated voice.

She watched his face for a mere few seconds, seeing the raw irritation in it, then frowning looked down and focused on her food. "Fine continue," she murmured, not quite able to contain the frantic rhythm of her heart beats.

"Okay," Arnav sighed, "so yeh there's property written in your name, millions of dollars worth of property that are inherited and was transferred into your name by your father a couple of years ago," he stated.

"Yes I know," she dismissed blankly. "In fact I asked him to sell it off when he lost his company a while back but he wouldn't listen to me. Like I need the property," she added in the end, not quite sure anymore what he was trying to get at. Was he trying to lead her away from what was actually wrong?

"Okay, well yeah and you know that Arundathi then became his business partner and recovered his company right?"

"Yeh," she agreed blankly.

"Okay. Well this is my hunch, that Arundathi knew about this property and that's why she agreed to help your dad recover his business," he stated, his expression now of the calculative business man he was, slightly detached, his emotional turmoil now resting away from him as he himself assessed the situation out loud for the first time.

"But how does that add up to anything? And how would she get property that's in my name if she recovered my father's business?" She questioned confused, leaning forward as the intriguing nature this conversation was taking required her full attention. Having had enough of her food she placed it to the side as well.

"Because she knew you were with Aakash and that meant your father would be easily convinced," he said now more as if he was talking to himself rather than her.

"What?" Khushi questioned again, her eyebrows knitting together. "Convince my father of what?" She questioned, her heart hammering through her suddenly, beads of sweat rapidly accumulating on her upper lip.

Arnav exhaled heavily, not wanting to really say what he had to, "Khushi..." He closed his eyes momentarily, bringing the words together in his mind, "Khushi, your dad signed a contract stating that you and Aakash were to be married within six months and that's all that I know, there must be more to it than that. But I.. I didn't get the chance to ask, I'm looking into it." His words came out a jumble, and Khushi had to strain her ears to make it out exactly, her eyes wide in disbelief and shock and fury and every other emotion that her mind knew.

Signed a contract

The words rang through her mind, Arnav's inability to have said it earlier, the sting of her fathers slap, his fury, his sudden outburst of rage for what she had thought to be for no reason, all suddenly adding up. She felt betrayed, humiliated, hot tears began streaming down her face and she began to frantically wipe away at them, her fury building up with every passing second. She felt her heart sear into a thousand pieces, the gashes of pain burning away at the edges. She felt the warmth of an arm then his body and then his breath on her face as her body shook with the force of the emotions ramming through her and she willed herself not to cry. Had her father sold her off to Aakash?

"Khushi," he whispered, "I don't know anything properly, we'll find out then deal with it," he attempted to pacify her.

"What do you mean by you don't know Arnav? What else is there to know other than that my father sold me in order to save his business?" She looked into the depths of his eyes, her hazel eyes dark and drowning in her tears.

"Khushi he thought because you were engaged it would be okay, he assumed you would end up getting married. I'm sure he didn't think this would happen," he tried to reassure her, not wanting her to break down completely, she didn't need that right now. He pulled her in closer, snuggling her in against his chest, not able to form the right words to offer her comfort. She moved in closer, his warmth being the only slightest source of solace to her mind, her sobs muffled and quiet, the tears now over-flowing, too choked upto say anything. What was happening in her life, first Aakash, then been taken away to Aberdeen and now her father, her own father had... Oh god nothing was making sense, her life was falling apart, crumbling from the edges. "I don't... I don't know what's happening Arnav," she muttered in between sobs, her words broken and almost inaudible. "This... this wasn't supposed to happen, all of a sudden everything around me seems to be falling apart. EVERYTHING! And I have... I have no control over it. I don't even understand half of this... It's still not even adding up. Please Arnav," she looked into his eyes which were peering into the depths of hers, "Please Arnav tell me this is some sort of messed up nightmare," her voice was louder now, the tears flowing out angry and exhausted. "Pinch me or something!" She exclaimed grabbing his hand. "I want my life back! It was so much better than this! What is this?! What the hell is this?!" She stood up and began pacing about, her face blotched with rage and sorrow, her cheeks and nose a dark shade of pink and every muscle in her body shaking. "I want my life back!" She screamed, breaking down, her sobs loud and ragged. "I want my life back!"

Arnav walked over and held her as she fell against him, her anguished cries and anger shaking through him. "Khushi, please just think through this slowly. We can sort this out. We'll sort this out," he spoke into her hair, hugging her body to his.

She broke away from him suddenly, pushing away from him, done with words of reassurance. "Take things slowly? What the hell are you talking about? You've just brought me over from India so that I don't get killed, told me my father has signed a contract agreeing to marry me off and you want me to take things slowly?!" She screamed, her eyes bloodshot and wide, a storm raging through her mind.

"I know, I know Khushi but this won't help anything. Just... Just think through things," he closed his eyes clenching his fists because nothing he was saying would get through to her, "I know nothing I say will make any of this better, but you need to just stay strong until we sort this mess out," his voice was firm as he held onto her shoulder, adamant to keep her sane.

"You know all this happened because of that bastard Aakash!" She exclaimed, unable to keep her anger at bay. "If I hadn't..." she stopped herself suddenly, knowing that there was no point in screaming out why she had started off her relationship with Aakash. There was no point, Arnav didn't seem to care. And then the grief of that hit her too, propelling through her like a rocket of destruction. Perhaps he didn't love her either, was it possible to feel so alone in the world? So betrayed by every single person that you held dear? "How... How can you tell me to take things slowly when everything is falling apart! When everything has been falling apart! Do you know why I won't get married to Aakash?! Do you know?!" She screamed walking back and creating space between them, her body erect with anger as she glared square into his face. "Because he cheated on me!" She yellled, "he cheated on me!" She fell to the floor, her sobs loud and agonising.

"Khushi, Khushi," he ran towards her, pulling her into his arms, "Khushi shh, I know he cheated on you, I..."

"WHAT?!" She pushed him away from her immediately, then stood herself up. "YOU KNEW?!" She screamed, her anger now aimed at Arnav, how dare he think he could keep everything about her life from her!

Arnav stoop up too and began to glare down at her, his expression that of being extremely confused. "Yeh I knew, I found out a while back," he stated calmly, "I was going..."

"SHUT UP! Just SHUT UP!" She screamed turning around, waving her hands in front of her face. She had had enough.

"But Khushi I was going to..."

"Arnav! STOP!" She exclaimed turning back towards him. "Just stop," she breathed out heavily, shutting her eyes, having had enough of everything. Whilst Arnav continued to stare back at her, shocked beyond belief, not knowing what to do to improve the situation.

"Khushi," he tried once more.

"Arnav," she spoke through gritted teeth, "I said that's enough! Just leave me alone please!" And with that she stormed off and sat down in the furthest away corner and leaning her head on her knees then putting her legs on the chair and tucking them under her shut herself off from the world. She had had enough, she wanted to go back to her cosy little flat in Aberdeen and pretend everything was okay.

****

The light of the large Raizada Mansion emitted in an orb around the house, alighting the surroundings of it as it stood tall and grand against it's backdrop. The leaves of trees rustled as a whistling wind blew through them, creating an almost eerie atmosphere, the branches of them throwing about haunting shadows. And a lone woman pulled a bag out of the doorway stepping out. She looked around twice, taking in her surroundings and making sure no one was around, the echoing silence calming her slightly erratic heart. She took her key out, her finger pressing it's unlock button and the cars amber lights flickered on then off with a light click. The tapping of her shoes clicked against the ground as she hurriedly walked over to the car. A light shiver ran down her spine and she looked around suddenly as she heard the shuffling of feet behind her, but not seeing anyone focused her eyes back on her car. And that's when someone grabbed her by the waist, slightly lifting her off of the ground. She tried to scream but a calloused hand covered her mouth and she struggled to bite it off. She flayed her legs around, trying to kick the man. She tried to turn her body around to look at his face. Her nails dug into his skin but he would not loosen his grip. His hand on her face was nearly suffocating, her chest heaved with the difficulty she had in drawing her breath in. Her screams were muffled and not a soul was around to hear them. Security guard where was the security guard? And that's when she felt it a little prick in the side of her thigh, then a flurry of images, her eyes drooping of their own accord. Her head started spinning, and then empty, her knees buckled and her legs gave way beneath her, then sparks of lights, blurry sparks of light, then beams, then lines of lights and then she lost the sensation in her limbs and everything faded away. Then blackness, then nothing....

****

Arnav changed the gears in a rhythmic movement, clicking them into their place with the increasing speed of his car. The road silent and almost empty. The skies were grim and cloudy, a grey hue to every cloud. The leaves on the trees were luscious yet the gloom seemed to convert their green into a lighter yellowish shade. They rustled softly in the wind and there was a slight splatter of rain every so often, not continuous but there nonetheless. He looked to Khushi from the corner of his eyes, she sat with her head rested upon the glass, her eyes distant and bloodshot, her face swollen and pink. She had refused to talk to him since he mentioned knowing about Aakash's other relationship. He had led her out of the airport but she had walked on, sometimes away from him, sometimes ahead of him, sometimes behind refusing to look at him even once. He had tried a couple of times but she didn't seem to respond. He was beginning to fear that she had gone into shock but hoped beyond hope that that was not the case, she was stronger than that wasn't she?

I want my life back!

I've always loved someone else

For once...

This is a nightmare

I want my life back!

Please Arnav

Those words, her words kept on replaying over and over again on his mind. He needed to bang his head against the wall, punish his mind for not letting go. She needed her life back and he was the main reason for it to be falling apart. If it hadn't been for him this wouldn't have happened, Aakash wouldn't have happened, Arundathi wouldn't have become this dangerous. His life was already a floating mess, why was he making her life difficult? How selfish could he be? But could he leave her now? She wasn't safe, she was falling apart, he couldn't leave her now! His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter and he strained to keep his focus on the road, away from his roaming mind.

"BEEP!"

He snapped out of his thoughts for the second time and his foot nearly slipped off of the clutch. He edged his car forward then looked right, and getting his opportunity turned left, the narrow roads familiar from too many memories and his heart sunk as she continued to stare out into the distance, not seeming to feel or see anything around her. He slowed the car again, changing into second gear then turned left once more then drove straight through the give way, as he always did, the other cars could wait for him if they wanted to travel the wrong way. It was still early morning, the birds only beginning to chirp their morning songs, a couple of seagulls here and there. He braked the car then reversed it into a spot directly in front of the door.

She was already out before him, still walking in a lost daze, her movements mechanical.

"Khushi," he tried again, but she wouldn't respond and kept on walking. He followed behind her, up the two concrete steps and waited as she then stopped and stood at the door, staring blankly at the worn wooden door. "Oh yeh I'll go get the key," he hurriedly mumbled then walked over the still damp grass and jumped over the fence then walked up to the fifth slab of concrete along the wall and lifting it up picked up the keys, his keys to her flat then walked back. She moved back, still looking away from him and gave him the space to open the door, it creaked open, the edges of it frayed and old and his shoes echoed on the tiled floor of the narrow corridor, the inside still lit as it was still pretty dark inside. He watched as she brushed past him, her fingers brushing over his as she took the key from him, still not making eye contact. Her steps were heavy and slow on the stairs as she climbed, her small fair hand against the smooth wooden banister. He followed her slowly and nearly collided into her as she stopped at the top landing, he waited for a response but nothing came, she merely turned to her right and walked to her door and inserted her key. The bookcase that had been there when she had first moved into the flat in her first year of uni still partly blocking her entrance into her flat. He watched as she stepped over the wooden step at the entrance then slowly turned around. Her distant, blank hazel eyes now looking up at his face, her eyes roamed over his face for a second.

"Arnav, you can go back to India now," her voice was silent yet firm, not the slightest hint of emotion in her face.

"But, Khushi..." he tried to walk in after her, his arm out to stop her but before he had had time to react she had already closed the door on his face.

~ And of all these things I’m sure of, I’m not quite certain of your love – Little Bird, Ed Sheeran ~